firsts

today was a first in many ways. matilda started school today. a BIG day for her. HUGE. we had a good dinner last night, i made her favorite meal. it was in fact, the first time she and i had been in our new home together in quite a while. so that was a big first for us together. and to tell you the truth, it was the first time it actually felt like home to me.

another first was when she fell asleep in my arms at 8:30pm. i had to slide my arm out from under her ever so carefully so as not to wake her up. she slept peacefully until 530am when i got up to shower. *note to self: don't close bedroom door all the way - it's LOUD!* she watched her favorite movie while mommy got ready for work, then it was her turn to get ready for her big day. she looked adorable and seemed very excited. until we got in the car. she got quiet. REALLY quiet.

we get to the school in record time which was nice and surprising. HIM said he was coming for the first day drop off so we waited for HIM's arrival. we all walked in together... i did shed a few tears when i was by myself in my car (still parked in the parking lot). matilda - shed more than me... which was the hardest part. she was all excited about everything - her clothes, seeing her little friend she met at the open house, seeing the other backpacks the kids were carrying... she was excited about it all. until we walked into the classroom. i walked in with her, i put her backpack in the cubby and put her extra outfit and lunchbox there as well. she was still doing fine. then it was time to get busy. that's when it happened. she grabbed HIM and refused to let go. i was a little mad cause if she were gonna latch on to anyone, i'd prefer it be me but whatever... anyway, i stood there rubbing her back and telling her how much fun she was going to have and how i couldn't wait to hear all about it. the other kids were already sitting in their spot so we were trying to get her over there with the others. i walked over there with her when she finally let HIM go...

she grabbed my thigh with BOTH arms and walked with me that way. she sat down on her name thingy and the teacher was talking to them about stuff and she turned toward the teacher and listened and then we sorta slid out the door. i poked my head in one last time before leaving to see how she was and she was still facing the teacher. the part that killed me was the outstretched arm towards me as i walked to the door. OMG that was painful.

i saw the admissions director as we were leaving and she asked how she did, i told her and then asked, 'you guys will call me if anything happens right?' 'OH YES OF COURSE! she'll be FINE don't worry - we're going to chapel now and that's always a nice way to begin the day. she'll be FINE!' *now you have to say that with a light british accent for it to sound right. =) *

sooo all in all it went well. as we were walking out, HIM and i chit-chatted a bit, i didn't really know what to say but the silence was awkward. it's hard to act aloof with someone you once slept with. i think he was looking at my butt when he was behind me. ;-) then we parted ways and said he'd call when she got out of school to see how her first day went, i said great and, i kid you not it sounded like he said 'love you'. now, i know he didn't... but it sounded like he did. you know how when a couple is out and are in two cars and you're going one way - he's going another and as you're both walking one shouts 'love you'... real quick like - well that's what it sounded like.

so i get into my car and i'm thinking - what did he just say? and i went over it again... 'did he say THAT?' noooo... must've been something else. HAD to be something else. THEN i started thinking - if he DID say that (which i know he did not) but if he DID, he must feel like an idiot. anyway - it was quite funny. to me only cause i know what was in my head. =)

all in all the morning was fine and it's almost 11am and no call from the school to tell me matilda has secluded herself in the bathroom and is refusing to come out. always a good day when you don't get THAT call.

so today after school... i'll pick up my parent's and we're ALL going to pick her up. then it's off to the store to pick out an 'i survived the first day of school' bath tub toy. i promised her one a while back so i figured today's as good a day as any to get it. plus it gave her something to think about for after school.

wonder if she'll get homework? =)