Highly Into Myself...

yes, that's the meaning behind HIM's acronym. i knew one day i'd figure out what H.I.M. stood for and HIM actually gave me the idea. because, while i was oblivious to HIM's behavior during the marriage, i am all too aware of it now. almost as if now i'm on the outside looking in.

you see, HIM has a dilema. his work exceeds everything else on HIM's list of priorities, even outranking matilda. HIM is working one of the mornings he needs to get matilda to school. sooo in HIM's masterful mind, his solution, oh brilliant one, was to ask me if matilda could be late for school that day. could. matilda. be. late. for. school. which was the equivalent of asking me, 'say beck - you wanna get your feet run over by a semi?' ummm NO. i replied to HIM with the 'no, matilda can't be late for school...' which was met with the solution to spend a few hours with her after school and then she'll come home with me so I can take her to school the next morning... i have no problem in the world with this of course. my PROBLEM, however is that HIM had no intentions of even PICKING her up from school.

HIM casually says via e-mail because we both still can't speak to each other, 'so you meet me at 'x' location at 'x' time and then meet back again at 'x' time.' ummm again - i was floored. i replayed what HIM had just said and added, 'this makes no sense to me at all... you waste half you visit time in travel.' to which HIM said, 'well i could probably get to her school in 45 min - i get off work at 5pm...' this just infuriated me even more.... you see - HIM is taking extra shifts to help out... and it doesn't occur to HIM to ask his boss who is SO far up HIM's bootie, if he could leave work a little earlier so he could pick up his daughter. NOPE. NOT POSSIBLE.

the end result was me arranging to visit with my friends, thus taking matilda to HIM - which i don't want to do simply because HIM will benefit, but i do want to see my friends so i guess it works out okay. it still irritates me that HIM thought more of his job than his child. i know i can't fix that and i know i can't make him realize what he's doing is not right... but what can you do... i put matilda first and foremost and i hope one day she'll notice the difference.